Something has changed, am I rising again?

Feels like a day,

but it has been a long time,

grappled with my pen and papers,

I failed to realize,

in my quest for perfection,

how far have I come,

and how I missed all the beautiful sights.

Today I come back to the same place,

where I was four years ago,

thoughts unhinged,  an emotional wreck,

consoling myself,

but, 

how do I stop my weeping books and notes,

my dearest pals throughout this journey,

crying on my desk my affirmations and quotes,

all the goals and dreams written with colors aplenty,

they believed in me when I could not,

and uplifted me from the darkest downs I stood,

We never thought we would come back to square one,

with my mind and the heart squaring off at this one,

How could I stand here,

how did I not reach my destination,

how is it that I am standing at the initial phase again?

Same situation, same page,

but,

Something has changed,

Built a mind so resilient these years,

a voice inside shouts to resolve,

to get back up and paint a new picture again,

a light burning inside,

asking to not let go of the knowledge in vain,

deranged emotions, still no doubt and fear,

I will make through anything, 

just with the right direction and my head clear,

Opportunities will knock again,

so what if this one slipped off like sand,

spry is my mind this time,

grabbing them from every way that I find,

with a new approach and a bright smile.

They will ask again,

"How will you make it? is it worth the pain?"

Am I ready to face it? What will I say?

I do not know,

But I will keep pushing my limits again and again.

-Dheerti